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fuck your backyard blowjobs!
the other day, I had a BK backyard burger or backyard broiler, or whatever the latest artery clogger of the month is being called. Whatever the fuck it was, it should have been called the backyard sucker, cuz DAMN. it was probably the worst thing I've had in my mouth in a week. First off, it was yucky. Second, it was puny. Third off, it presents itself as something I could grill at home. Listen, you moronic advertising fucks. Put down the bong for a minute, and listen to me. If I wanted to eat home slop, I'd go home and cook. When I eat out, even at a 4th rate eatery such as your establishment, I want something I don't eat at home. I can make sucky, oddly shaped hamburgers all on my own. When I go to the clown burger for a quick bag of take out, I want perfectly circular burgers, that no human could have ever shaped my hand. I want precise amounts of condiments, perhaps even measured if your food cost is bad this week. I don't want home made food, you nincafuckingpoop! Home made food usually sucks, particulary at ches tattodnanny.

And furthermore, don't pawn of your oh-so-cleverly misshapen burger on me, claiming it's a home burger, on some bizarre mutation of a hamburger bun and a dinner rull. What the fuck was that shit? it was like a yeast roll they give you at a restaurant, but big enough to put a burger on. Hello?? I've made many a hambuger in my day, hosted many a cook out, and have never bought freakishly mutated dinner rolls to put my burgers on. Perhaps the theory is that they where on clearence, and since at home you just buy whatevers cheap, you would buy these demented bread stuffs...whatever, they sucked. Don't buy one. Stick to the whopper, babies.

and while I'm on the subject....

why is it that these people have to dick with the burgers at all. I mean, Christ! Mickey D's has a chicken flat bread sandwich...how many fuckers are ordering the chicken flat bread sandwich? I 'll tell, a few a day, who think because it's not "usual" mcdonalds fare it might be slightly healthier. These are complete nimrods...c'mon, cheese, sauce, other condiments. Fuck it, get the Big Mac! Mcdonalads should stick to big macs and fries, the best in the mutliverse, beef tallow or not, and bk should stick with whoppers and onion rings. And quit trying to pawn shit off on me, cuz I'm not buying it no more. From now on, I will not try the "latest" thing from any fast food restuarant. I have been screwed often enough by the industry. Never again while I succumb to your chicken mcfajitas, your backyard screw ups! No more Wendys crap in a pita! No more hardees mashed potatos! Never again, I say! Never again!No more will you trap me with your clever marketing chicanery! Whoppers, big macs, and fries, and that's it! Nothing else, I tell ya! by the way, I made a survey, and it's a lot of fun, and if your my friend and you love me,you'll go take it,right now!!! it's called whatyathink? go take it,now! please?