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200 entries
1.Today I am writing my 200th entry
And it's the end of the month of poetry

2.I will write today in rhyming verse
But be assured, I will still curse

3.Two hundred lines today is my goal
And this idea, I admit I stole

4.And if I sound like Dr. Seuss
Too bad! Fuck you! Go drink some juice.

5.I misspell words, I say fuck a lot
And many of my entries rot.

6.I have two sons, aged seven and eleven
And neither one did I name Devon

7.A husband, too, who's very cheap
I can't get laid, he likes to sleep

8.A puppy dog, whose name is Thor
His house training is very poor.

9.The job for which I get paid is nanny
And I have an unusually large fanny.

10.Oh, Good God, is this only verse 10?
Um ... the best friend of Stimpy is Ren?

11.Upon my face, glasses I wear
And I have short light brown hair.

12.I live in a trailer, down in the deep south
And though I've not pierced it, I have a big mouth.

13.In each of my ears, there are two holes
And on my neck are several moles.

14.Though seven less than I had before.
There are many who say I am a ring whore.

15.I spend much time in Diaryland
Some Diaries rule, but others are bland.

16.These are some folks I like to read
Some list me as favorites, my ego they feed.

17.Golfwidow is my very best friend
She gets all jokes, and money would lend.

18.Deamonchild has got news thats a damper
No more getting high in the old green camper.

19.Back in high school, I dated RevHooligan
Oh, fuck - nothing rhymes with Hooligan!

20.Dr. Gonzo I guess is a big muppet fan
And she likes to fuck some guy called batman.

21.Twenty down, 180 to go
This poem has now become my foe.

22.But finish it I will, I must
For Kevin Smith I madly lust.

23.Poor Uncle Unchbunch needs to have sex
Its like hes under a horrible hex.

24.l-Empress is Golfwidows female parent
She dont like my language, shes made that apparent.

25.Ask Obi-Wan is my new Favorite site.
But they pissed off Golfwidow, and that's just not right.

26.Random Facts has much useless info
When I have enough money, I'm buying a tivo.

27.Slut-bucket is young, she's having a child.
I hope that for her, morning sickness is mild.

28.The book girl, too, is great with child.
Soon, with Toddler and infant, her life will be wild.

29.Haritari just got back from New York
She's not expecting a visit from stork.

30.30 now, who-hoo, yippee!
But will I finish? Just read and see!

32.Lobotomy babe likes to photo and cook
Everyday, at her writing, I take a long look.

33.Marn is from Canada, where it is cold.
Where nights are long, and men are bold.

34.To Minidragon, I gave birth
Which greatly did increase my girth.

35.One on One did interview me
My brilliance and wonder he did truly see.

36.I also got quoted, I was so happy
I almost cried, though I know that sounds sappy.

37.Cabbeges 69 needs to update more.
His use of verbiage is never a bore

38.RevInterview asks mean questions, then says fuck you.
He doesnt care if he makes you boo-hoo.

39.Joleen, like Golfwidow, likes Tony Bourdain
I think they're both just slightly insane

40.Now we have reached couplet forty
Um ... in England they call a truck a lorry

41.Hey you there, fuck you! I know that don't rhyme
But thinking of verses takes a mighty long time.

42.Redblur writes good, his template is cool
All in all, I think he may rule.

43.Sweetandandy likes ska, she works in a store
Her entries, some dirty, are never a bore.

44.Here in Diaryland, Andrew is in charge
He just joined a gym, and hes living large.

45.Whatawoman's little girl, her initial is b
Shes a real cutie, just go look and see.

46.Ms. Rubydragon will soon be a singleton
I guess life with Godzilla, just wasn't much fun.

47.Kittyhead writes of a small pet raccoon
Reading her words can be such a boon

48.sierramoon has a very young girl
she loves her a lot, she thinks shes a pearl

49.Maj52 teaches English at school
so her spelling and grammer both rule

50.Look at me, theres 50 done
we're halfway there, we're having fun.

51.Squawk had some fun on a white water raft
she thinks it's more fun than an art or a craft.

52.So that's all my favorites, I read every day
I wish Michael Jackson would just go away.

53.Now what to write? Hum, lets see
I guess I'll talk some more about ME.

54.I'm overweight, I sure like to eat
that would explain the size of my seat.

55.I like to read, I read a whole lot-bot
Right now I'm reading Tolkein's, The Hobbit

56.You, in the back, quit laughing, just stop it!
I'd like to see find a rhyme for the hobbit.

57.On my back you can find a tres cool tattoo
if it was fucked up, the artist I'd sue.

58.I'm taking a class, World Literature I
The Odyssey sucked, but Othello was fun.

59.I go to church, Im Episcopalian
Ha! You thought that this rhyme would be failin?

60.sixty of these stupid couplets Ive written
with Angelina Jolie, I am quite smitten.

61.I like to write, I like to say fuck
but country music makes me say yuck

62.I write dirty stories for nobody but me
I might let you read them, for a small fee.

63.On the Food Network, Iron Chef is the best
Morimoto, my favorite, can out cook the rest.

64.I like trading spaces, with Paige, Frank and Ty
for that fine manly carpenter, I pant and sigh.

65. Of the Osbornes, I'm a huge fan
the madman of metal a grumpy old man.

66.I listen to talk radio, rush and G. liddy
and even Doc. Laura, my life's such a pity.

67.I like Andrew Lloyd Webber, I think that he's great
Except for Cats, which I really did hate.

68.I am bisexual, I have an ex-wife
I plan to hate her the rest of my life

69.She broke my heart, she made me cry
She fucked around, with girl and guy

70.I hate her guts, that's the truth about that.
But after we broke up, she got really fat.

71.And I hope she's really fat and ugly
not like me, chubby and snugly

72.this is getting very boring
by now I bet y'all are snoring.

73.Here are some movies that make me happy
I hope that you don't find them crabby

74.Heavenly creatures of course is the best
It is the first film to show Winslets breast.

75.Chasing Amy's romantic, funny and sad
Kevin Smith made, so it can't be bad.

76.Clerks is real awesome, it's in black and white
It was Smithie's first movie, he sure made it right.

77.Dogma's fantastic, with Affleck and Damon
and my man, Jason Lee, plays a really hot demon.

78.Hey, it almost rhymes, it's close enough
The Rock is a wrestler, his bod is quite buff.

79.Mallrats is ok, not Kevin's best work
In a New Jersey mall, Jay and Silent bob lurk.

80.A movie I liked, though the reviewers sack
Was Jay and Silent bob Strike Back

81.For Star Wars, on cable, I'm likely to seek
You call it New Hope if you're a really big geek.

82.Empire Strikes back is dark and it's scary
and Damn, is it me, or is Chewwie quite Hairy?

83.Return of the Jedi almost did rock
except for the stupid fucking ewok.

84.Episode one was ok, it wasnt that bad.
It showed Darth Vader as just a wee lad.

85.For Moulin Rouge I had some use
I did not think it was ass juice.

86.Aimee and Jaguar, Nazi and Jew
Now they are in love, what will they do?

87.?I'm the king of the world quoth Jack in Titanic
its influence on the culture was almost satanic

88.Quills was quite fun, though some parts were sick
like the part where we had to see G. Rush's dick.

89. I just saw frailty, I thought it quite good
why don't you go see it, I think that you should.

90.I like scary movies, like Jason and Freddy
but it's not cool to watch them right before beddy.

91.Great, now I'm writing like I'm two
don't like it Stop reading, why don't you go screw?

92.I know I write poetry worse than a vogon
I'm sorry that this dumbness must go on for so long.

93.It's almost over, we're close to the end.
I hope when it's done you will still be my friend

94.Never claimed I was a poet, I don't have it in me
and all of my rhymes are excessively silly.

95.Me rhymes with silly, I promise, I swear
and if it doesn't, at this point I dont care.

96.But I sure love my diary, and love diaryland
that sentiment is true, and its surely not canned.

97.So if you like to read what I've written, thank you so much
you reading me daily means a whole bunch.

98.I like reading your thoughts, I hope you like mine
and if you don't like it, than stop reading, that's fine

99.But I will keep reading least ways for the time being
cuz it sure beats the hell out of cleaning the ceiling.

100.and if you dont like my poem, and you think it's not true
I'll end this lamity with a great big FUCK YOU!